The One Year Mark

Tonight at midnight will mark the one year since the last idiot chose his online dating sites over me. I'd like to say I'm sad to see the mark coming, but I'm not, because I can honestly say that is a relationship that should never happened. Next time, I will listen to Jenn.

But one year is a big deal for me right now, because I'm actually happy to see it coming. It hasn't been an easy year, hasn't been a year of independence. But it marks a new beginning for me. I don't know if I can actually explain it in a way that anyone else would understand, but since this is a blog, and essentially me talking to myself, I may as well give it a try so I've got something to do for the next 30 minutes or so.

For the last 11 years (yes folks, it has been 11 years since I started actively dating) I've been all about the boys. I like having a boyfriend, I can't deny that because anyone who knows me would call me names. I dislike being single for the most part. But In the 11 years between April 23rd/98 and April 23/09 I was single for 37 months (in separate increments 3.5months, 15months, 4.5months, 12months); that's 2.9 years out of 11. That's not a lot. In fact, it's probably a lot less than it should be considering I've never been married, or fully engaged. But in those 11 years, a huge part of me was driven to go from guy to guy to guy.

But I've recently realized hey, I kinda like not having to report to anyone, doing what I want when I want. That may sound rather silly to most, but for me, that's a HUGE deal. So I'm starting this "new year" with a new motto. I'm going to think about my future for ME, not my future with a HIM. I'm going to work, play, and be happy. I'm going to enjoy my friends, my family and my life as it is right now. I have some things that should be done before I even think about dating... like paying off my bills (pay day loan, credit card, power bill, aliant bill, bell bill, computer, and Library fees) or at least get a start on them. I'd also like to get things in order to go back to school by Sept 2011 at the latest... that gives me two years and 4 months to get all of that paid off ($4000).

But I'm thinking positive. I can do this. I can live my life for me, and be happy with it. And since I've got great friends, both IRL and online, who can help me keep on this path. What, with Jenn on one side with a bat and Chris on the other, how can I walk anything except a straight line forward?