What the heart wants

Popped my head phones on for a few minutes a little bit ago and the first song that played was "The Outside" by Taylor Swift. A sweet simple love song about a girl standing on the outside of what she wants and not being able to get in and get what she wants the most. I sort of relate to this song.

I've talked a lot in blogs about ex's and all their screw ups. What I've never talked about is the one person who knows me so well that it's scary, that I get worried when I don't hear from them, who I love with all my heart. We became friends by chance, and I'm glad that it happened. I should remind him he still has a book of mine that I lent him in 2005 and he should bring it down and give it to me... screw the book, I want to see him!

We met while working at Sobeys together, and he had a little flig with my roommate at the time. That's how I spoke to him. Well, he spoke to me. He was sitting on the couch with her watching tv, and I was behind them on the computer. He must have been bored, or she left the room, because he turned around and started talking to me. I'm not sure how I even managed to get out two words, because I'd caught those pretty green (I still have no idea their actual color, they're contacts) eyes of his and I was lost. Nothing could ever happen, I was in a relationship and then when I wasn't he'd moved away. Now he's away, and I'm still in love with him.

There's so much more I can say, but I don't know how much of my heart I'm ready to lay out in a public blog at this point. But here's the song, maybe I'll add more to this subject another time.

"The Outside"

I didn't know what I would find
When I went looking for a reason, I know
I didn't read between the lines
And, baby, I've got nowhere to go
I tried to take the road less traveled by
But nothing seems to work the first few times
Am I right?

[Chorus:]

So how can I ever try to be better?
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of lonely places
I've never been on the outside

You saw me there, but never knew
I would give it all up to be
A part of this, a part of you
And now it's all too late so you see
You could've helped if you had wanted to
But no one notices until it's too
Late to do anything

[Repeat Chorus]

So how can I ever try to be better?
Nobody ever lets me in
I can still see you, this ain't the best view
On the outside looking in
I've been a lot of lonely places
I've never been on the outside