Confused

so much has happened in the last few weeks. Dad got sick, I went home, came back, dad died, I went home.. now i'm back.

And I'm sad about it? Something about being home was peaceful and happy. Now i'm here and I'm lonely and sad.

Doesn't help that my crush on JP (see previous entry for me being pissed at him) has gotten worse. I've actually gotten to speak to him, like on the phone, and he's just perfect. He'd disagree, and will probably shoot me if he finds this, but I adore him. It's been a few days since we've talked and I miss him. he's busy, and I get that.. but doesn't help me not miss him.

Now i'm going to go back and sulk... just feel all blah