I never thought, when I found someone I truly believed to be Mr. Right.. that I'd be filled with absolute fear over it. My brain automatically jumps back to "all men are awful and will hurt you." even tho I feel deep down that's not the truth.
JP is becoming more open with me each time we talk. It's obvious that the attraction between is us not just physical. Sweet words are exchanged, and desires that have nothing to do with sex. And they absoutely frighten me! Maybe it's partly the distance, maybe it's the fact that nothing lasts more than a few months for me. But I want the feeling to go away! No one has ever treated me like he does. He's sweet, and generous and sexy as hell. I love his accent, his jokes, his compliments. He's everything personality wise that I've been wanting to find my whole life! The easy "click" that we've had is probably what scares me, but the length of time it's taken to get to this point should reassure me.. especially when there are several months left before we finally get to take the plunge and meet.
I just want to wake up and go "I'm ok with this, I love this, I want this." Right now i'm still in the "OMG, what the hell is going on... I want him."
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